new beginnings
today they passed out the new daytimers at the office. we all get a complimentary one, to help keep us organized. it's a nice novel-sized, fat book that rests comfortably in the hand. i love new books - especially blank ones. they whisper seductively to me of things that might come to pass... in the imaginary world, in the future... they fill the present with the potential of the future till its seams burst, and it explodes right into that longed-for future. a blank page is a siren call to me, yearning for the text or lines and colors that will shape its existence and give it meaning.
at the end of 2007 this blank appointment book will be dog-eared and tired. it will have recorded the conception, development and birth of all the year's ideas, plans and appointments. it will have remembered my grocery lists and the names of books, authors, musicians and aritsts i hear about and must find out more about. it will have faithfully recorded cost estimates, recipes, story ideas (for all those books percolating in my head that i've yet to find time to write) it will be where the names and phone numbers of people wanting to sign up for violin lessons will be recorded for future reference. the margins of some pages will be crowded with scrawled reminders, starred and underlined, clamoring for attention in their smudged and rumpled surroundings, spilling across the centre onto the opposite page. there will be pages missing before long, where a day was left blank, and, some time after that date i needed a piece of scrap paper... perhaps to give a future student my phone number and info about lessons. somewhere in there, will probably be a note to myself to have business cards made, so i'm not tearing pages out of my daytimer to give people my phone number.
but the really powerful thing about this invitation from the future is that it makes the days to come tangible to me. they're counted off already, and named, one by one. Each comes to me with its own identity. this gives me an unshakeable sense of responsibility for those days, to see that they're not squandered, that they are honored. perhaps it's living a lifetime of never being allowed to take things or people for granted that gives time a kind of urgent value for me. the new appointment book intensifies the urgency. i learned of my own mortality at a young age, and have never been able to take the knowledge that each day could be my last lightly.
so, God willing, some things i want to see in that book by the end of 2007 are: the purchase of my very own harp (the current one is a rental) ; more playing engagements for the bands i play with; the final 3 levels of the #&%*!! production accounting program completed and graduated from; plans for a shared 50th birthday party with several friends who also hit the half century mark this year; kayak shopping info; research into installing solar and wind power, and a wood burning heater in my home; ideas and notes to myself for a book that i'm actually working on; organizing notes for my jobs on the home the local Habitat for Humanity chapter is building this summer; and, last, but far from least, many, many reminders of weekends, meals, special events and trips planned with my children, grandchild, and friends.
because no matter how long i'm lucky enough to live, the life i have left to live gets shorter every day.
at the end of 2007 this blank appointment book will be dog-eared and tired. it will have recorded the conception, development and birth of all the year's ideas, plans and appointments. it will have remembered my grocery lists and the names of books, authors, musicians and aritsts i hear about and must find out more about. it will have faithfully recorded cost estimates, recipes, story ideas (for all those books percolating in my head that i've yet to find time to write) it will be where the names and phone numbers of people wanting to sign up for violin lessons will be recorded for future reference. the margins of some pages will be crowded with scrawled reminders, starred and underlined, clamoring for attention in their smudged and rumpled surroundings, spilling across the centre onto the opposite page. there will be pages missing before long, where a day was left blank, and, some time after that date i needed a piece of scrap paper... perhaps to give a future student my phone number and info about lessons. somewhere in there, will probably be a note to myself to have business cards made, so i'm not tearing pages out of my daytimer to give people my phone number.
but the really powerful thing about this invitation from the future is that it makes the days to come tangible to me. they're counted off already, and named, one by one. Each comes to me with its own identity. this gives me an unshakeable sense of responsibility for those days, to see that they're not squandered, that they are honored. perhaps it's living a lifetime of never being allowed to take things or people for granted that gives time a kind of urgent value for me. the new appointment book intensifies the urgency. i learned of my own mortality at a young age, and have never been able to take the knowledge that each day could be my last lightly.
so, God willing, some things i want to see in that book by the end of 2007 are: the purchase of my very own harp (the current one is a rental) ; more playing engagements for the bands i play with; the final 3 levels of the #&%*!! production accounting program completed and graduated from; plans for a shared 50th birthday party with several friends who also hit the half century mark this year; kayak shopping info; research into installing solar and wind power, and a wood burning heater in my home; ideas and notes to myself for a book that i'm actually working on; organizing notes for my jobs on the home the local Habitat for Humanity chapter is building this summer; and, last, but far from least, many, many reminders of weekends, meals, special events and trips planned with my children, grandchild, and friends.
because no matter how long i'm lucky enough to live, the life i have left to live gets shorter every day.
posted by grannyfiddler at 7:24 PM
10 Comments:
The posting describes a very productive and rewarding life!!
Are you thinking of writing a novel ? It seems to me you might find that very busy programme rather difficult to accomplish.
Maybe you could start or join a Writers Club, completing short pieces or a book together as a compromise!!
Best wishes
ll - very good advice, which i think i will take. i have done some writing in the past, and have had a few articles and a short play published, so do have some understanding of the discipline required. outlines, notes and summaries for some of the percolating books have already been done. but, yes, i'm aware that i do tend to take on more than some think is prudent, but i also get more done than some do.
and i'm never, never bored.
Hi, thinking about you lots the past couple of days. You think if the book had smaller pages you'd be less busy? ;-). I'll call this weekend.
Hi, thinking about you lots the past couple of days. You think if the book had smaller pages you'd be less busy? ;-). I'll call this weekend.
And why that happened twice, I have no idea. Hmmph.
I'd love to hear you play, hope you have a great time!!
some kayak links, Peggy of
http://paddletales.blogspot.com/
uses a Mystic which I think looks like a great boat
http://www.impexkayak.com/mystic.html
I plan on retiring into a Calypso nice stable, roomy touring boat.
http://www.kayaksandpaddles.co.uk/canoe/kayak/uk/shop/productpages/touring/ns-atlantic.htm
try as many as you can and ask lots of people their opinions.
You surely keep busy. I love your last sentence.
Hi,
You do know you can one of your very own, and not only that but blank jounels, and sketch diaries that are hard back. And you can fill them to the rim with your special observations and note, or sketches.
Janice~
Don't lose it whatever you do!
madcap - SMALLER pages?! that's like telling me to get a smaller purse,when a backpack hardly does the job!
claire - thanks for the links. i went by the shop in the nearest big town that has kayaks and also bumped into a fellow there who's in their club. got an invitation to come join them at the indoor pool early in Dec. and i picked up a few magazines. i had no idea there was such a range of types of kayak and kinds of kayakers... everything from shooting WATERFALLS!!!? (not this girl) to holiday paddles in the tropics. very exciting. so, i'm guessing yours is a sea kayak.
and about the music...if i ever figure out how, i'll post some of our music. am now playing adeste fideles on my harp ;o)
granny - busy, yes. mostly because i hate being home alone, so it's all self inflicted. but still doesn't compare to your calendar, methinks... last sentence - don't you feel like life's on fast forward sometimes?
lady jan - yes, self publishing seems a good option... but first one must have something to publish. my big dream is to illustrate and write children's books. Madcap and i did one together years ago; she wrote, i did the pictures. never published, but very big fun. she called it "the sheep got my shoes"
granny p - don't lose it? i seem perennially on the verge of losing it - that's the story of my life... oh, you mean don't lose the appointment book... yes, that is a bit scary. they're similar to diaries too, aren't they? when finished, the past year is encapsulated.
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